filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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