so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
