Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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