I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize