umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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