I want to walk on stilts...naked
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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