Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
