so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
