I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
