There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
