I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
