one word: firstdatebathroomanal
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
