I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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