i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
