Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
