Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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