i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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