i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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