Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
