Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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