We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
