Kiss
Puke
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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