I skipped work to stalk him.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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