This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i think my cat just said my name.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
