good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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