im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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