No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize