I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
