ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
