The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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