I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
