Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I didn't shave. On purpose
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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