Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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