Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
