chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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