Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize