dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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