Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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