Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
