I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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