he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just pee around me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
