I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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