She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
