She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
