Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am spending my child support on dildos
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
