your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
