We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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