I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
