This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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