do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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