Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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