you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
