i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize