I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
