Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
