and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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