capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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