please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
God, I missed his penis.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
