i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize