hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize