he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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